guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
