i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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