Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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