Pants 0. Shit 1.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
