Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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