Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
