We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I can't turn off my feet"
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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