is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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