She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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