I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
