Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
