i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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