Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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