My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i think my mom watched the whole time
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
