i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.