so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
