First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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