Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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