dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
