i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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