Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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