Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
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You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
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Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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