It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
