I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
