That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize