Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
