also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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