I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
