We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
