Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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