shes about as inviting as chlamydia
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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