Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
