I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
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I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
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You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
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