ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I bet he comes in French.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
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