mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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