We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
