i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
we should paint friendship bongs
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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