I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
