mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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