I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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