i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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