I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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