can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
please don't ironically join a cult
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