Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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