Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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