billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
