ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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