I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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