there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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