you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
