Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize