Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
