I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Just puked most of my soul out..
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
