i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
