D3 body, D1 cock
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
i may or may not be watching the land before time
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
