Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
