that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
