...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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