today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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