My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
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is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
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yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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