I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize
