I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
