fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Welp...herpes.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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