I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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