Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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